Dear Machiavelli,

I own a Harley Davidson motorcycle and for some reason (I know it doesn’t make good sense) I have been taking my bike to a “metric” dealership to have minor maintenance performed on the Harley Davidson. Well the other day it was time for new tires and I called the metric shop and ordered the tires. When they called and said they came in I promptly carried my bike down there to get them put on . Before the service manager did the work, he informed me that they actually did not like to work on Harley Davidson motorcycles because it took valuable shop time away from people who had purchased bikes from him, all of his techs weren’t comfortable working on them, and they have somewhat of an attitude. He stated that he would continue installing them but that he would have to start adding a $20 premium to the current price starting with this install. I went ahead and let him do it but afterwards I made numerous complaints, called the owner, left a negative review on google (even though they did an excellent job) harassed them on Facebook, and encouraged all of my friends to do the same. Luckily most of my friends are as self centered and self absorbed as me but a few people had the opposite opinion and it really has me butt hurt, I just want to know am I justified in reacting the way I did

Thanks,

Somewhat Manly In Milwaukee

Dear Somewhat Manly,

First of all, what kind of moron lives in Milwaukee, buys a Harley Davidson, and then takes it to a metric shop for routine maintenance? Do you not realize you are in the Mecca for Harley Davidson and V-Twin motorcycles? I’m not 100% sure but I think it is a violation of every man law in this country. I just cannot fathom the logic that leads you to think it would be a good idea to take a Harley Davidson to a metric shop, much less in Milwaukee, Wisconsin………

Ok now that I have that the first issue out of the way, let’s concentrate on the second. So you think it is a good idea to ruin this business because they will change you tires, but they would rather not because of the reasons listed? So you mascaraed around like a bunch of big though bikers until your feeling are hurt, then act like a bunch women on a segment of Housewives of Atlanta all because YOU think the world revolves around you.

Here is my advice. Do NOT tell another soul this story, not your wife, your priest, not even your dog. If your friends that sympathized with you ask about it, act like you have no idea what they are talking about. In the face of all truth deny this story until your last breath. Laugh out loud if it’s mentioned in manly circles and say it wasn’t you but that whoever it was must be a wuss. Then maybe, just maybe you can salvage a little of your manhood and convince the rest of the Harley Davidson community that you actually have a set of balls. But I admit there is no guarantee…..

Thanks for your letter,

Modern day Machiavelli